NEWSFLASH: Humans do not come out of the womb with the ability to use a toilet. Said humans must be changed each and every time they pee or poo. Oh, this isn’t news to you? I just wanted to make certain we are all on the same page because it seems as though many businesses weren’t made aware of this.
Let me paint a picture for you (for those of you that are parents you will, unfortunately, recognize this picture all too well): You decide to go to the store, to a restaurant, to grab a cup of coffee, etc. so you load up your tiny human. Loading up this tiny little person is much more difficult than you could have ever imagined. They come with SO. MUCH. STUFF. Refer to No. 3 on this list. So after you wrangle up your babe with their pile of shit necessities, you’re well on your way…it’s going to be a good day! You get to your destination and you have to now unload your child and their luggage. You probably even drop a few things while unloading this high maintenance nugget. But that’s ok, you’re used to it, you still have high hopes for the day. You two are well on your way now – you’re pushing them around in a cart, you’re probably talking to them and laughing, even though they don’t understand half of what you’re even talking about. And then you smell it – the telltale sign that they have gone número dos in their pants. You hightail it to the restroom, because god forbid that stuff start squishing up, and out, around the diaper. Merchandise isn’t allowed in the restroom so you grab that lovely bag, or two, of crap and rush into the bathroom, all eyes searching for the changing table. There isn’t one out in the open but surely there’s one in the handicapped stall. You open the door and what do you see? Nothing but a bare wall. No changing table. No help.
This is where my frustration lies. This exact scenario plays out all the damn time. At which point I’m left with having to decide what the hell I’m going to do with my little stinkbomb. I’ve heard of people changing their babies on the restroom floor but, call me a prude, that is just way too disgusting for me. I could try to change her on the sink (which I’ve sadly HAD to do once before – never again) but then it’s a race to get done so you’re not holding up the sink, plus nobody wants their kid laid out on a sink for all to see. And remember the story above – I’m juggling 256800465 things while all of this is going on. Therefore, more times than not, I find myself boogying out to the vehicle so I can change a dirty diaper in the tiny space left in my backseat or (gasp) yes, even in the trunk of my car.
Now people, I’m not talking about trying to find a changing table at a night club or a bar, I’m talking FAMILY FRIENDLY establishments; restaurants with high chairs and stores that sell baby items. How is this acceptable? How is it that I can have my child sitting in a high chair at a restaurant but cannot change their dirty diaper in the bathroom at the very same restaurant?! Should I have to put fifty layers of clothes back on my child, in the dead of winter, so I can cart them outside to change their diaper in the car? Like hell, I should.
I’m sure I’m not the only mom who has been tempted to change my soiled child in the middle of the grocery store or on the dining table at the restaurant – just to prove a point. And don’t even get me started on the struggle that dads face with the extreme lack of changing tables in men’s restrooms, I’m saving that for another rant blog post.
Who else feels my frustrations?
xo, Jess
