As I sat in the living room, listening to my girls fight over a Mother’s Day gift they were working on in the next room over, I couldn’t help but feel like it was all for nothing. Here I was, not spending time with my children just so they could make sure I had a gift on Sunday. So when Sunday does roll around, and I receive said gift all I’m going to think about is how miserable everyone was trying to put the darned thing together. Seems a little silly, doesn’t it?
So here I am to tell you some things that require very little effort. No money spent. No fighting with crafts. A simple, no nonsense plan. Husbands, if you’re reading – don’t stop now. This is important. Here are the ultimate ways to honor your spouse, and the mother of your children, on her special day:
- Kids fighting – keep that shit at bay. No mother wants to spend the day listening to her kids (and husband) bicker all day. No amount of crafts can make the fighting bearable. I would love one day of not playing referee.
- Sleep – don’t wake me, let me sleep as late as I freakin please. Since having children, this has been lost on me. I just want to rest. I’ll probably still be up by 8, but at least it’ll be on my terms.
- Day off from picking up crap – not literal shit, but the crap that everyone leaves laying around all over the gosh darn house. If I don’t have to pick your underwear up off the floor or clean the dining room table off (for the 500th time that day) I’ll be pleased.
- No laundry service – if someone could just come to the house and fold the mountains of laundry, that would be ideal. However, I will settle for just not having to do any laundry for the day.
- Uninterupted ‘me time’ – you name it: showering, using the restroom, aimlessly wandering the aisles at Target…whatever…just make sure the kids let me do these things without being up my butt, crying my name, asking for a drink, or watching me creepily (especially when I’m going potty) I know husbands get these luxuries everyday so this probably makes no sense to you. Bitch please, I haven’t been able to go pee alone for the last several years.
- No bedtime duty – I will tell stories and sing songs but when it comes time for the littles to close their eyes, I don’t want to be within a 5 mile radius. One night without fighting my kid to sleep would be heaven. Just let me have one night…
Moms – what sounds like the ideal Mother’s Day gift to you? Leave a comment and let me know what I missed. I’ll check back after I fight my kid to sleep.
Happy Mother’s Day!
xo, Jess
