You guys. Here I go, I’m going to be terminated from every Facebook Mom Group after this post. Maybe some of my Facebook friends will drop me after this too.
If you’re a mom, chances are you belong to some sort of Support Group on Facebook (Moms of Newborns, Toddler Moms, Breastfeeding Moms, etc). Do dads have these type of groups too? I’m not really sure…anyone? Anyway, I’ve noticed some things on these pages and I wanted to share some thoughts.
The Good
I belong to several of these groups. It’s actually kind of alarming. I am more of a passenger though. I don’t do much interacting with the traffic on the page. I think I’ve only ever asked maybe one question (about taking toddlers on an airplane) Other than that, I just observe. I think some great questions are brought up on these pages.
- What kind of diapers do you prefer?
- From experience, what should I pack in my hospital bag?
- What do you pack your kiddos for lunch?
There’s also some posts that make me realize the things I experience are pretty universal.
- My 3 year old is acting like an asshole.
- I’m tired and I feel like I’m sucking at this parenting thing
- My kids won’t eat anything
This. This is where I feel like these pages excel. Sometimes you don’t know the answers and you need a band of mama’s to help you navigate these unfamiliar waters. All of us moms bring so many different experiences to the table and with 3,000+ of us in a group together, we are able to assist eachother with everyday questions/concerns. It’s great to have people build you back up or give you some reassurance that you’re actually doing pretty damn ‘alright’ with this mom gig.
The Bad
A couple things fall within this category.
Mom Shaming: For the love of Pete, why?! Why join a Mother Support Group and then bash people within that group? I see so many moms bickering back and forth on posts that it makes me want to never ask ANYTHING on there. You judgmental Judy’s are parading about acting like you mom better, wife better, and decision better. You don’t. So stop.
Spouse Shaming: Yikes. This is where I’m going to start pissing people off. At least once a day you can find a post where a wife is spouting off about her spouse. It’s become normal. “I just came here to vent about my husband…he’s a lazy POS…I can’t even stand him right now…he sucks…he’s currently playing video games…etc. etc. etc” OK, I get it. I don’t get along with my husband everyday. Sometimes I find him annoying, aggravating, and impossible. However, do you know who I talk to when I’m feeling those ways? Him. I get it, sometimes you can’t talk to your spouse because it will just create more conflict. But if that’s the case, and you need to document it…write it down…in your private journal. Don’t air it on a Mom Facebook page. Which, let me remind you…has 3,000+ moms in there, some of which you know. If you’re looking to forever hate your spouse, air your dirty laundry on Facebook so everyone else can see your SO in a negative light. Most of your problems with your spouse are temporary and by airing it…you’re putting a dirty taste in everyone’s mouth about them, making it more difficult for you to look past your differences later on. Your problems aren’t temporary? Well, it’s probably time to seek counseling, or maybe divorce. I’ve seen some posts that probably require law enforcement.
The Ugly
Tipping the apple cart even further…
Mama…listen. Please stop posting pictures of your kids limbs falling off asking for advice. I am not even exaggerating with this one…
MY LO burnt himself on a heat register and this is what it looks like [insert picture of something that is clearly multiple layer skin damage] What would you do? Should I just stick a band-aid on it?
What?! Are we even serious? I am no medical expert but, PLEASE, if your child’s skin looks like it needs a graft, stitches, or they are clearly in severe pain, bring them to the DOCTOR! Do not wait for someone to answer you in a public forum. I understand not everyone has insurance. I understand that sometimes mom goggles make things seem worse (to us) than they really are. But use your best judgement. I get the (many) posts of rashes, inquiring if anyone has ever seen anything similar. Chances are you can avoid the doctor if someone can give you some insight from past experiences. However, some things are beyond that scope. Some things require immediate medical attention. I can’t stand seeing anymore pictures of severe medical/health issues.
So there you have it. The good, the bad, and the super ugly. I can’t be the only one who feels this way about these groups, right? Let me know what you think!
xo, Jess
