- Sleep really isn’t that important. I used to
requirethink I needed 10+ hours of sleep per night. That mindset was significantly altered during pregnancy. I had severe insomnia and would get 3 hours of sleep each night…if I was lucky. I always joked that my body was probably just preparing me for late nights with a baby. How very true! Before, I would hear parents talk about how they were up with their baby all night. And although they would say how tired they were, they never really looked as tired as I thought they should (they were obviously superhuman.) Now, however, I truly understand. Our first night home with Arabella I literally got zero sleep. The next day, however, I felt like I slept more than ever before. It’s funny how things change: staying up all night studying in college meant I would probably miss my first class(es) of the day because I would be too wiped out. Staying up with an infant, although exhausting, is also very rewarding. I’m not sure there is a greater feeling than watching your precious baby finally fall asleep after fighting itforeverfor 4 hours.I’m not saying I don’t wake up some mornings (or realize it’s time to stay up after being up all night) wishing I could sleep longer. Some days I want to crawl in a hole and never come out, to be completely honest. But at the end of the day, nothing really matters…except
the fact that I’ll be doing it all over again that nightthat your baby is happy and healthy. - Your own kids poop/puke/bodily fluids aren’t that gross. I really don’t think I’m alone in saying this but even if I am…I stand behind this statement. I remember the first time I had to change Arabella’s diaper; I had two things working against me: 1. I had NEVER changed a diaper in my life and 2. I was attempting to do it through the tiny arm holes of the incubator. I was scared shitless (no pun intended.) I put it off the first couple times the nurses asked me if I wanted to give it a go and would graciously volunteer my dear husband. I was amazed, however, the first time I got the gusto to do it at how naturally it actually came.
Five months later you can guarantee I’ve changed my fair share of diapers and it certainly has become just part of my daily routine. Included in this routine are poops that run up the entire back, poop under my nails, and even poop flying all over the interior of our car door on one lovely day trip. During none of these times have I been grossed out (surprisingly.) Now if these instances involved any other child I would probably gag and choke my way through it.To me, poop goes hand and hand with vomit. I get thrown up on daily, oftentimes multiple times and I’ve grown accustomed to it. Any other kid puking on me…cue the gag reflex. What’s up with that though…seriously?!
Pre-baby I would have said poop is poop is poop and vomit is vomit is vomit. Post-baby….poop is poop unless it’s my baby and same goes with vomit.
- You will never again be on time. For Anything. For the love of Pete…when will I ever be on time for anything… ever again? I used to wonder what took parents so long to get ready to go or why they were constantly late for things. Afterall, they had a newborn/infant…how difficult could it be to get them out the door? It’s not like they mosey around the house or give you attitude when you tell them it’s time to leave.Holy Batman! I’m sorry for ever judging these parents.I am late for every.single.little.thing. If I tell someone I’m going to meet them at a certain time they should take my word with a grain of salt because I will be late, guaranteed. First of all, why do babies require so much crap?! I pack more to get my 5 month old out of the house for a few hours than I do when I pack my bags for a weekend getaway. This is no joke. They are so high maintenance. Not only do you have to pack their essentials (food, diapers, bottles, wipes, etc) you also need to pack for the unexpected (extra clothes [at least 2 to be safe], a bazillion pacifiers because they will all end up on the ground, toys for when they decide they are “bored,” extra bottles because they will decide they need to change their feeding schedule just because you aren’t home, etc) I’m seriously considering the need for a second diaper bag.
Secondly, babies are SO unpredictable. Even when I lay out a very detailed schedule for how I should get us ready to leave the house (get up, give baby bath, mommy showers, feed baby, mommy gets ready) it rarely works out how I envision. Why? Well baby always has a schedule of her own (get up, poop in bath, cry the entire time mommy is in shower, throw up bottle all over clean self and outfit, decide we’re still hungry while mommy is getting ready because, really, I spit up my bottle…duh!) It makes me laugh when my husband tells me to leave the house early because the roads are bad…because, well, it’s not really up to me. Which leads me to my next discovery….
- Road rage goes from “will these people move out of my way?!” to “why are they going so fast?!” I have always been a self proclaimed Road “Rager.” I used to get frustrated with people when they would drive 15 mph BELOW the speed limit anytime there was any kind of precipitation. I was the person who would put up statuses like, “TWO drops of water have touched the ground and all of a sudden everyone forgot where their gas pedals are.”
Well Karma, she is certainly a bitch. I’ve come to the conclusion that all of those “grandmas” on the road probably have babies in the car (even if they don’t, it makes me feel better.) I drive like it’s glare ice anytime it rains, snows, mists…whatever. I’m the asshole with the line of traffic building up behind me because I don’t dare to press on the gas. I don’t believe there is anything more terrifying than driving with a baby in the back.
So to past Jess: you’re a real jerk. And to anyone who is like past Jess, I apologize on behalf of all of us paranoid mommies out there, but we’re doing the best we can. ♥xo, Jess
Oh my god. It’s like you wrote everything in my head.
First. I always said I never wanted kids period because of how gross they are. nathan has vomited TWICE in my MOUTH, and I literally dug a booger out of his nose less than 2 hours ago.
A year ago, I’d flash my lights and flip my crap at ANYONE going under the speed limit. Two days ago, I flipped off the guy who flashed his lights at me telling me to go faster thinking he was a crazy lunatic. Until i realized I was 10 under the speed limit.
Here is to the glory of parenthood!
Hahaha I love this! It’s like I’ve become everything I swore I never would!