10 years ago I hosted a spaghetti wrestling ‘event’ for my 21st birthday.
Yeah, I was that girl…
Anyway, as I’ve mentioned before, Facebook has a fun little way of showing you your memories. Facebook has been showing me the photos from that memorable night. Do you know what I see when I look at those photos? My body…and how nice it was. I thought I didn’t like my body when those pictures were taken but when they popped up in my memories, I started thinking how nice it would be to have a body like that again. Isn’t it funny how our crazy little brains work?
However, the more I obsessed over how much my body has changed, the more I realized it’s not all that bad. I was in a toxic relationship when those photos were taken. Outwardly, I looked like one of the happiest girls. On the inside, however, my happiness was diminishing by the day. I look at photos from that time in my life and I see a girl that is smiling, but secretly wishes things could be different.
4 years later, everything changed for me. Granted it took 4 years, but they do say that good things come to those who wait, right? That is when I met Anthony…I still had my ‘hot bod’ when I met Anthony. Then we got married. And then I had a baby. And now…well now, I have a mom bod. This mom bod is approximately 30 pounds heavier than I was in those spaghetti wrestling pics. Now let me tell you why I’m OK with that…
- This body carried our child
- This body eats ice cream (lots of it) with our children
- This body lays down at the end of the day with my husband and binge watches our favorite TV shows, while eating cookies and milk
- This body gives my girls a place to rest their heads when we watch movies together
- This body is not only accepted by my family – they love it, they embrace it, and find comfort in it
- This body tells a story
What story was I telling with my body before? Nothing good. I mean, sure it looked great in photos. But do you know what my mom bod does? It goes to work everyday, at a full time job and then comes home at night and takes care of a house and family. It loves 2 beautiful girls, unconditionally. When I laugh, I mean it. When I smile, it’s genuine. My soul is happier than it’s ever been.
Now when I looked at those old photos I thought to myself, “I would do anything to look like that again.” But you know what? I wouldn’t…I wouldn’t give up one single thing about my life right now. I think it’s beautiful. That girl, back in 2008? She didn’t like her body AND she didn’t like her life. Me, today? I still don’t like my body but I LOVE my life. And I can live with that.
xo, Jess
