I am a perpetual apologizer. I apologize for everything.
- I’m sorry I’m leaving work early.
- I’m sorry that you bumped into me.
- I’m sorry for asking so many questions.
- I’m sorry I’m tired.
- I’m sorry I’m having a bad hair day.
- I’m sorry you’re in a bad mood.
- I’m sorry I’m not feeling well.
- I’m sorry I say sorry so much.
Stupid, silly little things that don’t even warrant an apology. But there I am… apologizing anyway.
It comes as naturally to me as breathing does. It’s annoying.
So what happens when we religiously apologize? Not only does it make the person apologizing feel like they’ve done something wrong but it also sends the message to the universe that you’re in the wrong, like you’re a bad person. I don’t know about you but I think I already have enough on my plate that makes me feel guilty. I’m pretty certain being a mom is a 24/7 guilt trip. So why add more?!
If you’re like me, you apologize because you believe it’s the polite/likable thing to do. When in reality, over apologizing makes you sound insecure and defensive. Raise your hand if you find those latter qualities likeable….yeah, didn’t think so.
How do we stop? A good place to start would be to ask yourself if you’ve done anything wrong. If the answer is yes, then YESSS PLEASE APOLOGIZE. Otherwise, think of ways to express your emotions using words or phrases other than “I’m sorry.” Here are some alternatives:
- “Thank you” for not judging me
- “I’m grateful” that you did that for me
When you replace sorry with words of gratitude, it focuses the attention on the positivity of the situation, rather than the negative. I’m certainly not the person to be giving lessons on this topic, as I’ve admitted that I wholeheartedly struggle with guilt and the feeling that I need to apologize for everything. However, I’m going to practice what I preach and I’m going to focus my energy on rephrasing those two nasty words over the next few weeks. They say it takes 21 days to form a habit so here’s to hoping for a new, more positive me in a months time.
I typically would say “I’m sorry it took me so long to write a new blog.” However, I’m going to sign off by saying “I’m grateful that you take the time to read my blogs, whenever I get the opportunity to write one.” Thank you thank you thank you.
xo, Jess
