Facebook’s “On This Day” feature is a great way to let you relive every status update, photo, and post on your page since its inception. It does not spare you from your stupidity, craziness, or ugly past…you just never know what your “On This Day” is going to look like. Today, however, my past was filled with confessions of love, thankfulness and all things lovey-dovey. Four years ago, today, I met my husband. It was bittersweet for me to read my status’ from the past few years.
Each one I read was a variation of the above post. Except last year, I didn’t make a post for him. I posted a video of our daughter attempting to crawl but there was no silly post about our “meetiversary.” Did I even let him know how much I appreciate him, on this day, last year? When did I stop making my friends sick with over the top posts and photos? When was the last time I told him how much he means to me? I know how much I appreciate and love him, but does he know? If you’re not into the whole public displays of affection, this is your cue to hit that pretty little “x” and exit my blog. You’ve been warned; here is an open letter to my husband, on our “meetiversary:”
Dear Husband:
Today started like any other day, I begrudgingly got my ass out of bed. I rushed to get ready so I could make it to work, semi on time, causing me to give you a quick hug “goodbye” and hastily wish you a good day. A routine that we have grown all too familiar with, a routine that has me feeling like we are stuck on auto pilot. Tonight we will do what we have grown accustomed to: getting dinner on the table, while peeling children off our legs, followed by baths and pjs, a quick glimmer of playtime, and then stories and bed. At which point, you and I will collapse into bed and barely peep two words to eachother, as we feel the weight of the day slip off our shoulders. I’m afraid we won’t giggle and play, we won’t act like two kids in love, and we definitely won’t tell eachother how blessed we are to be together. And for that, I’m sorry.
I am so sorry.
I want need you to know how much you mean to me. I have not forgotten about you. I have not fallen out of love with you. I am more in love with you than ever before. Each moment I play with our children, I see you. Everytime I tell them I love them, I am loving you for giving me these beautiful gifts to love. Everytime they smile, I see you smiling. Everytime we laugh together, my heart is bursting with more love for you than you could even imagine. I realize that at the end of the day I am oftentimes too exhausted to even utter coherent words. I know I cheat you out of the love and attention you deserve.
I’m sorry.
“Us time” is increasingly hard to come by. But I am grateful for each moment of it we get. Lastnight we talked (about nothing and everything) for over 2 hours. That felt damn good. I promise to attempt that more often. I also promise there will be alot of times that I don’t feel like talking for even 2 minutes…but that doesn’t mean I love you any less. You’re still my knight in shining armor, you’re still my soul-mate. I honestly don’t know where I would be without you. You are my rock. I’m just not sure when I stopped telling you that.
You are the constant I am so grateful to have. Good day/bad day, I know you’ll be there. Even if it’s sitting in silence watching a mindless TV show for a half hour before bed. Our love may not be as loud as it once was but I’ll take the quiet sort of love, for now. You don’t need to paint a city, when your audience is standing right infront of you.
I love you: yesterday, today, tomorrow, and forever. Stick with me, love, because you’ll always be my “car guy.”
xo, Your Wife
