This past weekend was nothing short of an eye opener on how much things have changed since I had Arabella (tomorrow she will be six months old!) It started with me realizing I no longer can sleep on wood floors and ended with me having a near nervous breakdown trying on clothes for work.
When I first became pregnant, one of my least favorite things to hear was “for the rest of your life you will look like you’re three months pregnant.” Yikes, that’s one way to make an already hormonal pregnant woman feel terrible about herself, all whilst her body is going through a million changes. But let’s be real, your body, mind, and spirit take a beating when the little bun is in the oven and while some things are only temporary, there’s no denying that pregnancy leaves a permanent stamp on us:
- Your Stomach: It’s not really “fat,” maybe it’s extra skin? It’s like this little pocket of leftover something that sits right above your pelvic bone. It taunts you whenever you put on a pair of jeans that are a little too tight; it’s like muffin top but in the front. Don’t think of wearing shirts that are slim fitting because that little bulge will rear it’s ugly head for all to see.
- Hips/Thighs: Oh my land. So for Christmas I got new jeans (thank goodness because I was still rocking my maternity jeans…5 months later) I will admit that I got a little anxious when I saw that it was customary for everyone to buy me a size that was DOUBLE what they bought me last year. I told myself they wouldn’t fit but the first time I put them on…they fit like a damn glove. Oh boys. I’m hanging onto an extra 10 lbs, I swear it’s all in my hips and thighs. And this past weekend I was trying to find some new pants for work. There is NOTHING like a fitting room mirror to show you how terrible you really look. (Hello Thunder Thighs) What do they use for lighting in those rooms?! I looked like a freakin killer whale. Everyone keeps telling me I won’t lose my baby hips…but I’ll be damned if I don’t try!
- You Age: Please tell me I’m not the only one who feels like I aged by a good 5 years when I was pregnant. The dark circles around my eyes…my Lord! I never thought I would be buying wrinkle/dark circle/age reversal creams before I was 30. But I stocked up at Target last week with every concoction ever made. And the aging isn’t only physical, I can FEEL it! This past weekend Arabella didn’t want to sleep through the night so I finally decided to just sleep in her room with her. It was a brilliant idea really; I took my old pregnancy pillow and grabbed a blanket and curled up on the little area rug in front of her crib. I woke up yesterday morning feeling like I had been run over by a bus! I had a
brokenstiff neck all day and couldn’t even look to the right. Anthony told me I looked like I was over compensating because I (unintentionally) hung my head to the left but what the hell, what would he do if a bus ran him over?! That shit is brutal. - Your Hair: While my hair loss has slowed down compared to a month ago, it’s still falling out at a rate that is above average (for myself.) I’m convinced my hair will never be the same. It’s like this lifeless, dry heap of hay on top of my head. I miss my glowing, flowing, perfect pregnancy hair. Can someone please bottle up the recipe for that because, um, that would be spectacular.
- Your Emotions: Who is this emotional roller-coaster of a woman? Dang, is she insane or what?! I thought the emotions would chill out a bit post-pregnancy. But I swear, everything fills me with such overwhelming emotion: Arabella looks at me, I cry; Anthony pokes me in the stomach, I cry; Natalie doesn’t pick up her toys, I cry; Arabella smiles at me, I cry; they don’t have my brand of toothpaste at the grocery store, I cry. Well maybe that’s a bit of an exaggeration but I feel like my heart could burst at any moment…every second of every day. It’s not really a bad thing, it’s just probably not considered to be normal.
Regardless of all the changes, I would do it all again. If we decide to someday have another child, I’ve determined that I will probably just be a bald blimp, who appears to be 10 years older than I really am and I’ll most likely be in a padded room somewhere. Motherhood certainly is a beautiful thing!
xo, Jess
