This past weekend, I met my cousins 3 week old baby. My, oh my, is she adorable…and TINY! I guess I didn’t realize how much Arabella has grown until I saw this little 8.5 lb baby. I held and stared at her, in awe. For the life of me I couldn’t remember Arabella ever being that small, even though when she was born she weighed less than half of that (at 3lb 9oz!) It had me really distraught all evening; how has my baby grown so much and I haven’t even noticed? How can I not remember her being any smaller than she is now?
As parents we are so caught up in the moment(s). We are always looking for the next milestone: when will they smile, laugh, roll, sit, walk, talk, etc. I am so guilty of this. Just a month or so ago I was so concerned that she would never play with toys, I actually told her doctor that I thought something was wrong. Silly me! She touches EVERYTHING now! She is so curious about the world around her and wants to play with (mostly eat) everything she comes in contact with. I wish I could bottle up the sound of the first time she actually laughed, or take a snap-shot to stash away in my memory bank of the first time she rolled over; my heart almost exploded with happiness. These moments are so beautiful, but they are also once-in-a-lifetime. I’ll never again see her reach out and grab a toy, roll over, or discover her feet for the first time. I cannot recreate and watch her learn these things ever again.
People tell you that the time will go by quickly, but I don’t think you can really grasp that statement until you’re living it. With every new accomplishment, you kiss the the old stage goodbye. One of the things that hurts the most, that I would have never expected, is packing up old clothes. It’s one of those task that I put off forever (as if she’s ever going to fit back in that newborn jumper.) And it’s not as if I put it off because I’m too lazy, I just have a hard time getting myself to pack them away in a box; because then I’m packing that stage of her life away, never to be seen again.
Despite all of these emotional challenges we face, as new parents, I wouldn’t change any of it for the world. Is there really anything more exciting than watching your child relish in the moment? Can you think of anything you have enjoyed more in your life than watching your baby beam with excitement and pride as they make a new discovery? So for today, I am going to live in the moment. I am going to take 1234861 mental pictures of the rolls on her thighs, the way one eye always closes more than the other when she smiles, the way her hair stands on end, as if she’s been electrocuted, and the way she lights up with even the smallest wonders of the world. 6 months from now I probably won’t remember how big small she was or the exact size of her hands/feet; but I know that I’ll be enjoying every new adventure, big and small.
xoxo, Jess
