I swear Arabella has had a cold now for two months, which of course made its way into my system. So we have been one hot, coughing, snotty mess. However, we have somehow managed through all of the congestion. If there is anything I have learned while having a cold it is that I should have quarantined Arabella and myself, as to spare my dear husband from falling “ill.” Yes, folks, my husband has developed the Man Flu.
Now, if you’re a man, you probably have no idea what the man flu is. If you’re a woman reading this, you are well aware of what the man flu is and how damn unfortunate it is. In my eyes, my husband can do anything and he isn’t afraid of anything. As a retired Navy EOD specialist, who has 4 tours under his belt (bringing him to almost every continent,) there is literally nothing that can take this man down. He has dismantled explosives for goodness sake!
Or so I thought.
Anthony doesn’t get sick very often but when he does. OH.HE.REALLY.DOES. He does not half-ass a sickness. He does not get over a sickness. Hell, he doesn’t even just carry on with a sickness. It is like the world has stopped revolving. Please keep in mind that I have the SAME EXACT cold that he has. As does our 17 month old daughter. With that being said, while our daughter is happily running around the house, my husband is on the couch clinging on to his life. He can’t move because it hurts. He needs medicine, and lots of it: our house is starting to look like a small pharmacy. He has seriously convinced himself that he has bronchitis/pneumonia/strep (even after having been to the doctors twice, only to be told he has a cold.) I have never, in my life, heard someone moan and whine so much.
How is it that my big, tough, hero of a husband cannot handle a cold? Are we wired that differently that it completely knocks him on his ass? He becomes this pitiful little baby that needs extra pampering and attention. He cannot fathom why I don’t feel the need to console him…when I have the same exact thing. As a matter of a fact, he believes he that he must have something far worse since I am not acting the same way as he is. On Christmas Eve we both had a headache, but his must have been far worse than mine because he couldn’t even drive us home. I literally contemplated driving him to the hospital, in fear that he was experiencing a brain hemorrhage. Truth be told, I have carted the kids all around town before with a pulsing migraine and I have made sure dinner is on the table when I know I cannot even keep food down myself. It would take a hospitalization to knock me completely down. But one scratchy throat and my poor husband is down for the count.
Anthony will face demons that I could never imagine. He is equipped with a certain level of bravery that allows him to face things I would never be able to handle. But throw a cough in the mixture, and my husband reaches for my hand. Please share your Man Flu stories with me. In the meantime, I’ll be fetching my husband some orange juice, medication, a nice fluffy pillow…and his balls.
xo, Jess
My ex boyfriend had bad heartburn and a stomach ache one evening that he kept saying I’m dieing I need to go to the hospital. Given that he had a comparable diet to that of a billy goat I brushed it off. Well he just wouldn’t let up do I called his bluff and brought him to the hospital. The cure to it all….some Pepsid and a big fart!
Samantha: thank you for the laugh; this is just too funny! The things we deal with when the Man Flu makes its way into our homes 😉